PRODUCT ARCHIVE
Spiced Rum Bottle
PRODUCT DESCRIPTION
A Golden Spiced Rum with Added Toilet Humour
A warmly spiced golden rum bottle with all the swagger of a familiar pirate brand, complete with ornate labels, maritime flourishes and the sort of small-print detail that rewards a closer look.
Crapping Moron Urinal Golden Piss keeps the theatrical captain, old-world typography and etched illustration style of the original, then reroutes the whole nautical fantasy through toilets, urine and a man sitting where a barrel ought to be.
PUBLIC RESPONSE
Customer Reviews
★★★★★
“Looks almost respectable on the shelf until you notice the captain is on the toilet. Very convincing bottle design.”
Barry Pisspot, Leeds
★★★★☆
“A decent-looking spiced rum ruined by exactly the right amount of toilet nonsense.”
Mavis Boggs, York
★★★★★
“The etched toilet on the back did it for me. Far too much effort for a joke, which is why it works.”
Clive Moron, Sheffield
BEHIND THE LABEL
Product Breakdown
ARCHIVE ENTRY
What
Front and rear labels for Spiced Rum Bottle
When
January 2021
Origin Notes
There was an awful lot more small detail than I first considered.
Original vs Rude Pantry Version
| Original Product | Rude Pantry Product | |
|---|---|---|
| Parent Company | Captain Morgan Rum Co. | Rude Pantry |
| Brand | Captain Morgan | Crapping Moron |
| Product Name | Spiced Gold | Golden Piss |
| Variety | Original Spiced Gold | Urinal Golden Piss |
| Dominant Theme | A stylish flamboyant Captain rests his foot on a barrel with an etched ship at sea in the background | Urine. And a moron on a toilet, with an etched toilet. |
| Barcode Numbers Spell | 5000299223017 | 16 9 19 19 9 14 7 = PISSING |
| Barcode Scans As | Captain Morgan Original Spiced Gold 700ml | PISSING |
Comparison
Full Designs
Development & Detail
Select any image to inspect the full-size source.
Notes
Photographed in the supermarket in 2025, so the label design had changed after 4 years.
And here’s me in 2021 looking quite beardy with the final product.
