PRODUCT

White Wine

PRODUCT DESCRIPTION

Bollock’s Crease

Hairy Conkers Chardonnay from the Balls of Knackersland.

A crisp, easy-drinking white wine with light fruit, a smooth body and a clean, refreshing character.

PUBLIC RESPONSE

Customer Reviews

★★★★★

A lovely Australian with a magnificent body. Took a short amount of screwing but we were both pleasantly surprised how quickly the top came off. Lovely with a fish supper.

Lauren Flange, Plymouth

★★★★☆

I gave it a good swirl, buried my nose in it and got plums, nuts, plus a slightly hairy finish that lingered at the back of the throat.

Pauline Dickhead, Bridlington

★★★★★

My wife licked her lips and immediately asked me to give her a large one. She immediately swallowed it and had white stuff dribbling down her chin and was gagging for more.

Ronald Knackers, Kendal

PRODUCT INFORMATION

Bottle Information

Bottle detailsSpecificationValue
WineTypeWhite wine
GrapeVarietyChardonnay
StyleCharacterCrisp, easy-drinking

BEHIND THE LABEL

INSIDE THE DESIGN

REAL WORLD DETAILS

Origins

CREATED JULY 2020

Front and back labels for wine bottle. Originally Jacob’s Creek.
Not much to say. It’s an average white wine.

Full Designs

Original vs Rude Pantry Version

Original ProductRude Pantry Product
Parent CompanyJacob’s Creek WinesRude Pantry
BrandJacob’s CreekBollock’s Crease
Product NameJacob’s CreekBollock’s Crease
VarietyChardonnayHairy Conkers
Dominant ThemeYellow/orange ripples in liquid, shaped like leaves with a winding creek in negative spaceTesticles
Barcode Numbers Spell930072740653811 14 1 3 11 5 18 19 = KNACKERS
Barcode Scans AsJacobs Creek Wine Jacobs Creek Classic Chardonnay White Wine 75clBollocks!

Comparison

Development & Detail

I added little details like a crimped wrinkly edge to the scrotum
I created very tiny graphic for a foetus with it’s thumb up for the mother getting drunk, not drinking from a glass like the original, but swigging from the bottle.
A small and easy thing to make, but even the tiniest things needed to be recreated in some way, like this mouse graphic.

In the Wild

I took the photo of the wine in the supermarket in 2025. Morrisons and other big supermarkets don’t seem to be selling Jacob’s Creek anymore.

Notes

I didn’t create a new neck for it, so the metallic part still has “Jacob’s Creek” on it, but I did edit it out for the main image above. I wish I could print in metallics!