PRODUCT ARCHIVE

Chocolate Mint Thins

Breastlé Mastur Bate chocolate mint thins box
Jump to full package design ↓

PRODUCT DESCRIPTION

An After-Dinner Classic with Added Self-Service

An impeccably mannered box of thin chocolate mints, dressed in familiar dark-green after-dinner elegance and then quietly corrupted by breasts, vulvas and a deeply unhelpful brand name.

Breastlé Mastur Bate keeps the restrained typography, gold detailing and individually sleeved chocolates of the original, while replacing its genteel mint imagery with a rather more hands-on interpretation of an evening treat.

PUBLIC RESPONSE

Customer Reviews

★★★★★

“Looks completely respectable from across the room. Then you read Mastur Bate and notice what the chocolate is actually doing.”

Clive Fingering, Harrogate

★★★★☆

“The mints are very convincing and the box is beautifully done. I did have to turn it round when my parents visited.”

Mavis Flange, York

★★★★★

“Exactly the sort of thing you could put out after dinner and wait for somebody to notice. Took my brother about twelve minutes.”

Roger Palm, Leeds

BEHIND THE LABEL

Product Breakdown

ARCHIVE ENTRY

What

Box packaging for thin chocolate mints.

When

May 2026

Origin Notes

I’m filling out the contents of an imaginary hamper so this seemed to fit.

Original vs Rude Pantry Version

Original ProductRude Pantry Product
Parent Company Nestlé Rude Pantry
Brand Nestlé Breastlé
Product Name After Eight (mints) Mastur Bate
Variety n/a n/a
Dominant Theme Wafer thin mint in sleeve Vulva/masturbating woman chocolate in sleeve
Barcode Numbers Spell 5000426171518 6 18 9 7 7 9 14 7 = FRIGGING
Barcode Scans As After Eight Dark Mint Chocolate Box FRIGGING

Comparison

Front and Top
Rear
Base
Sides

Full Designs

Development & Detail

Select any image to inspect the full-size source.

 Nestlé / Breastlé. Makes sense. Very tiny, at about 5mm wide) on the final design though.
I was surprised that AI willingly created this from a reference sketch. It didn’t seem to recognise that it could be female masturbation. Which it absolutely would have refused to do. This wasn’t in keeping with the original, but I felt it necessary to include.
I managed to con puritanical ChatGPT into making the chocolate vulva on the basis of a reference photo of a vulva chocolate mould and of it being a leaf. I then added a chocolate bean.

Notes

Photographed in the supermarket.